The Truth for My Sins, though they cannot atone

 Well, how remarkable. It's my birthday. 

I have enough vanity left to refuse to tell you all how old I am. Let it suffice to say that by muggle standards I probably should be dead and buried by now. Luckily for you all, you will all still have the benefit of my wisdom for a few more years yet. Or that might be Unfortunately; who am I to judge?

Anyway, I'm afraid, scatter brain that I am, I haven't arranged anything much, but if anyone wants to drop in for a spot of tea, I'd be happy to entertain you.